Hard Reset

I hope everyone has a wonderful Fourth of July!

Personally, I will be taking time next week to try and reset my brain. Its no secret that I have been very out of sorts this year. The passing of my father was only the beginning of what has been one of the most difficult times of my life. Honestly, it has been so trying and overwhelming at times, that I couldn't think of how to share it on my blog. That is why I have been away so much. Facing other health problems in my family, issues in my marriage, and frustrating professional dealings have left me truly spent. Trying to be creative has been the last thing on my mind.
On the other hand, I have learned many, many things too! For one, I realize how short life is and we should make the most of it, everyday. I also realize how much I have changed the last couple of years. I am not the same person. Most of my priorities have transformed before my eyes. Mostly, I have let go of the hold material things had on my life. Objects and "status symbols" mean very little to me anymore. That is another issue w/ this blog, its difficult to keep writing about furniture and shopping; when I really don't care about it much. I also struggle with pretending to care! At this point, what I really care about is the well being of my family, healing past wounds, caring for others, and expressing my creativity in a way that truly comes from my soul...and I really don't know what that means right now. I'm trying to figure it out.
For months, I've been debating whether I should share all this. I mean most readers want to see article about interior design for goodness sakes! Then it occurred to me that I began this site as a way to express my thoughts and ideas that I often have to keep to myself, because there is no room for them in my day to day. So, that's what I'm doing!! I will be taking this blog in a more personal and introspective direction, because that's where I am right now. Not to say, that I won't write about design; because it is still something I love. Except, design has changed for me. I'm no longer interested in designing rooms or homes that I can brag about or that exist to "impress" others. I want design to be an expression and refuge for the soul. I dream of homes becoming an extension of the owner's inner person, w/out regard to trends and pedigree. Yes, I do realize how crazy this can sound, but its what I feel.
So, I hope that all of you can forgive my current self-examination and self-questioning. Maybe I'm not the only one feeling like this and maybe some of you understand perfectly what I'm saying. So, as you can see I even neutralized the blog title on format. What was there doesn't really represent me anymore, but I'm still not sure what does. That's why I decided to sort of take away everything until I know what I want. Man, all of this sounds crazier than I thought! Crazy or not, I felt I needed to say it here. Think of me what you will, but I wanted to be honest. OK, that's all for now. Thanks for reading this all the way through and I will be back soon:)

Carolina

Woke Up Singing

Even with another hurricane looming around the corner, I woke up singing "Shiny Happy People". I can't get it out of my head today, so I thought some of you might need a shiny, happy moment for yourselves:)

A Year's Worth Of Time

A year later and I still don't feel much better about this. Although, today is the first time I've been able to listen to Man in the Mirror all the way through with out tears so, maybe there is some improvement.

I'm Making Big Changes!

So we have finally made the decision to move। In fact, school districts have forced us into the decision, but I don't care because I've been ready for a change!! So, currently I am in the process of preparing the house to put on the market and to somehow de-personalize my very, VERY personal space. Wish me luck!

Livin' La Dolce Vita

Photo via So Ninion

I'm very excited today! The lovely Paloma of La Dolce Vita invited me to be part of her "10 Things I Can't Live Without" series. This couldn't have come at a better time, because I've been in such a blogging funk. Sitting and writing about what really matters to me is a great way to get my creative juices flowing again. So, check me out here! 

Moving Right Along

This week marks Liam's 5th birthday! I'm having trouble adjusting to not having a "baby" around, anymore. He's growing and changing so much. Thanks to Grandma, he now has his own car to drive. Yikes! This things is so big, it needs its own garage. Thanks Mom, I think.
Speaking of growing up, at his birthday party I saw him holding hands with one of his little girl friends! Yes! For a second I thought I saw my life flashing in front of me...my baby!!!! Just last week he told me he was "in love" with a different little girl. Help me, Lord!

I Needed This!

I need all the laughs I can get lately. Since last week I have been laughing at "Pants on the Ground", along w/ a lot of America, but now Jimmy Fallon takes it to another level.
I love it!

Thank You, Thank You!

Photo via WTL Photos

I wanted to thank all of you for your words of encouragement and for your prayers after my dad's passing. We are back home and working on moving forward. I'm going to admit that I'm not feeling overly creative right now. Mostly, I'm trying to keep moving one step at a time. I'm also trying to catch up on everything I've been neglecting for the last few weeks. So, for now; I don't have much to say. Thankfully, I'm slowly starting to see the light again.

Thanks again
Carolina

Total Freedom

Today my Daddy found freedom from his tortured body. Despite our sadness, we are thankful that he is finally at peace. Now I keep wondering what a daddy's girl is supposed to do when her daddy is gone. My Papi was the original eccentric I loved. Growing up in Mexico he was known in his town as "El Loco" (The crazy one) because he had the most unusual ideas and point of view. When I was a kid, I didn't always understand what motivated him, but as I grow older I find I am more and more like him. In fact, he is one of my main creative inspirations. He was a true individual. He was honest and tough, and had a wickedly sharp wit. Everyday, I aspire to be like him. I have to admit that it will be difficult to keep up a creative and positive outlook now that he is gone, but I also know that would be contradictory who he was. I know he would want me to keep being positive and keep finding humor in this bizarre world we live in.
Thanks to all of you for your kind words and prayers. I can't describe what they mean to me.

My Papi

I have always been my Daddy's little girl. I have never stopped calling him Papi, because I know how much it means to him. His name is Natividad, because he was born on Christmas day and he has suffered from Parkinson's disease for almost 30 years. That is an incredible amount of time for anyone with that condition, but I think its due to his incredible determination and faith. The last few weeks have been very difficult for him and I think he's ready to quit fighting. I am on my way to see him now and I'm not real sure when I will be back. I can barely write this so it will be short. I just ask that he may be in your prayers.
Thank you, I know I have many friends out there and I appreciate your care.
Carolina

Sick Day

Liam and I have both been sick this weekend. Its been up to poor Mark to take care of us both. I'm not sure which one of us this photo better represents? Anyway, not much to say today.